Patience

Generally speaking, I am not a very patient person.  I never was; not even as a child.  As an adult, I am continually working on this aspect of my personality.  And, there has certainly been no lack of opportunity.

Compared to others, I have a very short fuse.  Compared my younger self, I have improved a lot.  Some changes I have incorporated have been pretty drastic, such as changing jobs to cut my commute from 3 hours a day to less than an hour.  Other changes have been much more subtle; even unnoticed by many.  But, I know I have increased my ability to tolerate more than I ever could.  And I am very proud of myself for that! There is a still a lot of work to be done, but it is important to acknowledge even the smallest accomplishments.

Almost concurrently with my recent job change, my husband and I decided to buy a house which we knew would require some major renovation.  The initial idea was to purchase the house and do the renovations before moving in and selling our old house.  However, the Universe - and our cats - had a different plan.

Shortly after purchasing the new house, our cats began to exhibit signs of serious stress, including obsessive-compulsive licking, random yowling sessions (especially in the middle of the night), and impromptu starvation.  We were lucky to quickly narrow this behavior change down to the travel to and from the new house, so we decided to move in and try to do the work while in residence.  The cats’ behavior almost immediately improved.  But my stress level rose and rose and rose.  You can imagine what that did to my level of patience.

As I said, I am generally not a very patient person.  I never have been.  With all this change, my standby stress relievers have been put on hold.  While some of my workout equipment remained at the old house, I have been limited to what I can do for strength training.  The unusually hot, humid summer has made it difficult to get outside to run.  And, the current status of our kitchen, combined with the summer humidity, has made it virtually impossible to bake.  So, how have I managed to remain patient?

The truth is, I haven’t.  But, I continually try.  Here are five major tips I use to work on developing more patience:

• Keep the lines of communication open.  As long as my husband and I talk about what is creating stress and tension, we can work together.  If he doesn't know how I am feeling, he can't respond appropriately.  If I don't know what his plans are, or what it is he needs assistance with, I can't be proactive and help knock it off the list. Communication, the one thing we almost took for granted, has become our lifeline.

• Keep the big picture always in view helps.  Remembering why we are in this temporary state of discomfort really helps me refocus and ground.  And seeing the small successes (such as the walls going up in the basement for our wine cellar) really helps me see progress through the piles and stacks of our stuff.

• Make a to-do list.  There is a lot of satisfaction in crossing items off when completed!  And the list helps my husband and I work together to get more done at once.

• Slow down.  This is the hardest tip for me.  However, slowing down and becoming more intentional helps me calm down, and, more importantly, helps me to make fewer mistakes.

• And, sleep has been very important.  Our brains process the events of the day and our bodies heal and regenerate when we sleep. By allowing for more sleep, I am able to tolerate a lot more than when I skimp on sleep.

I would love to hear from you if you, too, struggle with patience.